How To Maintain A Sterling Reputation

Be sure to note the “cartoon supervillain” AVI that we made for him…
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Of Course It Is


You Want It Done? You Want It Over? Simple.

Here’s a road map:

1. You surrender and slink off the field like the cowardly weasel you are;
2. I stand victorious, absorbing the accolades of the cheering throngs;
3. After a fortnight of celebration in my camps, coinciding with a fortnight of complete silence from your camp, I withdraw to the border status quo ante, to take up watch;
4. If you remain silent, you remain free, but at the first hint of a desire to renew hostilities, I rejoin the battle and once again bring all my energy and resources to bear.

Or…

We can keep going just like we are now.

I dropped my sword and walked away once, at the request of John Hoge. Remember what happened next? I do.

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So you’ll pardon me if I respond your assurance that you will drop your sword with a) a 50 lb bag of rock salt, b) a hale and hearty GFY, and c) a requirement of 100% compliance with my terms as a condition of your surrender.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

And, taking a page from your book, this is not a negotiation.

If you try to negotiate, the beat goes on.

If you question, the beat goes on.

If you bother anyone else, even somebody I don’t know or care about, the beat goes on.

If you cannot figure out how to control yourself, the beat goes on.

If you want it to stop, then stop it.

All you have to do is quit, and weather the shame of it for 2 weeks, probably less. Easy enough if you just power down and read a nice Danielle Steel or Jackie Collins rag. If you’re half as intelligent as you think you are, you know you are going to have to take that hit – it will come regardless, and I don’t have any power over what people say on Twitter. Yes, I do have power over the comments here, but I made a conscious decision to allow exactly the kind of comments you decry, including from you. I will not change that policy to suit you or anyone else. You dug your own hole here, and you hastened your own exit after being given every chance. You didn’t care enough to answer one question. Your choice. Your action. Your consequence. Your responsibility.

You want a “truce?”

Now you know how to get it.

I hope I have not been unclear.

UPDATE –

Wait…what?

Are you saying you NEVER WERE SERIOUS ABOUT A TRUCE?

Well…color me shocked.


Acting Against Self-Interest

Some people just have no self-discipline. You would think a stretch or two in the military might instill that, but I guess it doesn’t always take hold.

Just FYI: “watching television” is a metaphor…shhhh…


Earworm Wednesday!

Thank you, Guardians of the Galaxy!


Audience Participation Thread

Like the mighty mathematician Isaac Newton…

Like the awesome astronomer Johannes Kepler…

I, the great gadfly, the majordomo of mirth, the lord of laughter, the duke of derision, the impresario of insult, the master of modesty, the headmaster of humility and Sultan of the smackdown, have decided to compile a list of Krendler’s Laws of the Internet.

And of course, I need YOUR help!

I will start with four obvious ones, a couple of which I have shamelessly stolen (cuz I’m shameless like that) from apocryphal sources:

1. Haters gotta hate
2. Liars gotta lie
3. All mayonnaise flows downhill toward Elkridge
4. Monkeys gotta dance

As the title says, audience participation is invited.

High levels of creativity will be rewarded. The Thinking Man’s Zombie Seal of Approval is hoping to appear multiple times in this thread.

Go!


Monkey Dance Monday

I had the inaugural “Moving On Monday” post all set to go, but the real time Parkinson’s Disease advocacy coming out of Elkridge today has far surpassed anything I could have imagined. Maybe next week.

Remember waaaaay back – gosh, when was it? Seems so long ago…oh, yeah – Saturday, when he said
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You know, I hate to say “he can talk the talk, but he can’t walk the walk,” because that seems just a cruel thing to say to a man, person cartoon supervillain with his challenges.

But when have I ever let propriety stop me?

He can talk the talk:
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Since then, one hundred twenty new tweets (and counting) without one mention of Parkinson’s Disease.

(I know some of you young zombies out there are at least partially responsible for a couple of them – I will generously share credit)

He can’t walk the walk (or roll the roll, as the case may be). He’ll always be back for more punishment.

I hope everyone had a good time watching his masterful Feldtdown today. I didn’t say anything because I was afraid if I did, he might stop.

You’re welcome.


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